The Gadget Man's Quest For Hair Removal Equipment


I love gadgets. I collect them, fiddle around with them, join them, break them apart and then put them away in case they are needed again.

So when Sue asked for hair removal equipment I was ready to comply. I went to my garage which is like a magicians garbage dump. Anything and everything can be found there - as my kid brother and his friends have discovered.

Sue is my girlfriend and an exotic dancer. I know next to nothing about exotic dancing. What I do know is that she looks excellent and as far as I am concerned she is extremely talented.

It turns out that she has been chosen to join a musical play. I am not sure if I will take my mother to the opening, but I will be there. Yes I will definitely be there as it opens in three weeks time and I will be eighteen by then.

She asked for my help, and what man could refuse such a sweet request?

She has to remove hair from her eyelids and her head. Her make up will replace this. She showed me some pictures and she will look fantastic.

Two other girls will be dressing up the same. They are some sort of a Greek dancing chorus, surrounding the main characters and singing background songs.

It looks quite exciting. But as this production is being developed with a small budget, she turned to me for help. After all I am the gadget man.

So I turned to my garage and rummaged around, sure that I would find something. After a couple of hours I had managed to come up with quite a few old razors, three sets of nail clippers and a couple of old paper cutting scissors.

I admit I was a bit disappointed when Sue gave me a strange look and suggested I try a little harder. Sue is much older than I, she is already nineteen and I have to accept that she has been teaching me things I had no idea existed.

I was beginning to panic, and I think she was too. It was Tuesday already and the dress rehearsal would take place on Thursday.

That night there was a bit of a scene, at her place not the theater, when my new gadgets were rejected off hand. She couldn't afford going to a professional and had been counting on me.

I managed to calm her down, after all to be a gadget man you need an extra doze of common sense and creativity.

I would return the next evening and she just had to trust me. she did although when I left her she was near tears. I think they call this the first night jitters.

Anyway, next day I spent about eight hours in my garage. I only went out for meals when my mother threatened to ground me. But it was all to no avail. I never imagined that a simple requirement for hair removal equipment could be so demanding. After all I am the gadget man.

I have to state here, that I do take exception to my father not recognizing my vocation as a gadget man and calling me instead "silly twit". He did that when I came in late for lunch.

I was beginning to panic by five o'clock that afternoon as I hadn't found a solution for Sue.

When she called me to ask how things were going I couldn't quite tell her the truth; but when she said that her two friends from the Greek chorus would also be there for their hair removal, I actually lied. I know it is not a good idea to lie, but all I can say is that I panicked.

Time kept ticking by. I was contemplating the idea of running away, when my father, calling me a silly twit (this time I didn't contradict him) ordered me to change the bulb in his bathroom.

I went there dragging my feet. What an hour earlier had been an over active brain, had no turned into a numb sluggish organ.

I was thinking that my father's razor looked attractive but wasn't a practical model unless I could remove the blade. It was too much of an effort.

My eyes strayed to a couple of small boxes in the cabinet. Hell's bells! That was it.

These beautiful boxes held an electric shaver and a hair trimmer. The gods were smiling at me.

I rushed over to Sue's house full of pride. When I showed them my gadgets, I was the hero of the hour.

Although I wasn't allowed to actually shave them they did say I could watch. And I did. Apparently there had been a change in the play. They were no longer to remove their eyebrows or hair on their head. Instead they had to remove all the hair from their bodies.

I finished the night with pain in my neck from twisting it round. Basically I tried to appear as if this sort of thing happened to the gadget man all the time so I pretend to be really cool. I think I failed as the girls were laughing at me as I walked with a twisted neck.

Sue ended up with one of the light operators in the bar (it turns out it wasn't a theater), but I don't regret it as it was a very interesting experience.

Lilly, who was once a Greek chorus girl, is trying to teach me the finer arts of body shaving, but as I am a more experienced man now, I am pretending to have clumsy fingers, which means that Lilly has to repeat the process all the time while I watch.


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